As I sit in my office in the sanctuary of the KO Research & Development Center located in the exact center of the United States, in Iola, Wisconsin %
As I sit in my office in the sanctuary of the KO Research & Development Center located in the exact center of the United States, in Iola, Wisconsin, I must take time from putting golf balls into the miniature golf course that Jack Olson of Honest Jack‘s Used Cars in Stoughton, Wisconsin designed for me this summer to reflect on what a different year this has been for us all here in the racing world.
Honest Jack designed an exact replica of the Augusta, Georgia golf course that I was once kicked off of for some minor front end and roof damage to one of their golf carts. He was able to build all 18 holes into the top (and only) floor of the Research & Development Center, which weaves through the furniture and bathrooms where he has incorporated the bathtub as a water trap. This daily golf experience has been a great relief valve for me to escape the crazy times outside of my gates with the Elvis-style guitars on them.
I recently read an ad in my weekly issue of Grit newspaper stating how I can raise chinchillas right in my own basement and sell them. I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my order, which will help keep me occupied in these trying times.
2020 has been such a life-changing year. I think they could make a TV show out of it called 20/20 and people would probably think it was science fiction. I like to think of this year (and the Panda Demic) the way one of the greatest drivers to ever sit in a race car, Parnelli Jones, once described what it was like to drive in the Baja 500 desert race (which he won several times during his career). Parnelli told me that racing all 500 miles in the desert at full speed was “like being in an all-day plane crash.” Parnelli has always had a way with words and I think he was pretty accurate.
A lot of people‘s lives have been affected greatly by the COVID virus but, luckily for me, nothing has changed at all. Around the clock, I do stay in my total body hazmat suit that Ryan Newman designed for me. It includes a large, square top over my head with the NASCAR-style fresh air tubes like they have in their cars, and NASA-style gloves like they wear on space missions. It can be a little awkward when trying to eat.
However, as a result of my childhood training standing on my head and stacking BB‘s with boxing gloves on, I have very few problems with them. I also track my temperature hourly with a unique water gauge built by the Munchkin Man himself, Mike Fedorchak. It is attached inside my body and is read off some Stewart Warner gauges he so graciously took out of his van and let me use. To some, these minor inconveniences would be a hassle, but I hardly even notice I have them.
I must admit, though, this Corona Beer virus hasn‘t been all bad for racing. It actually has changed some things for the good. With the limited amount of time, due to the late start of racing season, it has shown what a waste of time and money it was having to be at a race track for four days instead of one. NASCAR has condensed the qualifying to either a drawing or to holding it the same day as the race, eliminating countless dollars unnecessarily spent on motels, meals, and practice time, which only burns up good tires and a lot of fuel.
This also gives the drivers a chance to go out the night before to socialize and help the local business economy by frequenting such establishments as arts and entertainment dancing, etc., and arriving to the track the next day with a much better mental attitude.
I always have to laugh when I hear about the grueling schedule nowadays of back-to-back days of racing at the same track and how hard it is on the drivers. They need to follow the example of the smart racers, like Kasey Kahne, Tony Stewart, Ricky Stenhouse Jr., Santino Ferrucci, Ryan Newman, Conner Daly, and some 300 other racers who spend a week straight racing at the Chili Bowl and never complain about how hard it is on them.
Or, how about when USAC runs Indiana Midget Week for seven straight nights of racing and they have to work on their cars after each night to get ready for the next day? The best, though, is the Modified Hell Tour that my buddy Kenny Wallace talks about, where they run one whole month straight, traveling to different tracks each night with no breaks. So, I guess two days doesn‘t seem that bad to me.
Also, with no fans in the stands at most of these events, think of all the boos they no longer have to hear after racing 500 miles waiting to actually race the last 20 laps to win. Or having no reason to do a ridiculous burnout in front of an empty grandstand that only makes more work for the engine builder or crew members that have to fix fenders and bumpers damaged when it is over.
2020 has also been good in another way, in that the racing world got to witness some real race history. When NASCAR wimped out and had to be politically correct and suspend Kyle Larson for three lifetimes for making a remark that he shouldn‘t have made and wouldn‘t have said had he not known it wasn‘t a private conversation, the racing world saw just how much talent this driver really has. We witnessed something almost beyond belief in racing.
Not since my incredible run back in 1985, when I won a race in Mendota, Illinois in Jack Schrader‘s car and then another at Olney, Illinois in Rollie Helming‘s midget (although months apart, not back-to-back) has the world seen such an unbelievable streak of wins in so many different cars and divisions. Kyle has won some 39 different races, starting in New Zealand at Western Springs and winning the Chili Bowl, along with races like the Hoosier 100, modified, stock car, sprint car, midget and marble racing, and he still isn‘t done.
Imagine if he hadn‘t had that BS suspension. We would have never witnessed his greatness, but would probably have seen him win maybe one NASCAR race in a car that doesn‘t have a great winning history. I think we all knew Kyle was super talented, but would we have ever even dreamed that he is this talented? He is one of these guys that come along every 20 years, that you better get out to see run at least once because history is being made right now and we may not see it again until 2040.
As amazing a run as Kyle has had, I still remember back in the ‘70s when Doug Wolfgang won some 40 races one year in the sprint car and even did 17 in a row! Also, Sammy Swindell and Steve Kinser had 60-plus wins back then and we just took it all in stride thinking that they were just that good to be able to do it. Dick Trickle was another racer who regularly won 50-70 races, year after year, and loved racing night after night all over the Midwest. I wonder what he would have thought of NASCAR‘s grueling back-to-back, two-race schedule on some of these 2020 weekends.
One of the saddest things for me this season due to the Panda Demic was the fact that, for the first time in my life, there was no racing at Angell Park in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin. Dane County completely shut down all racing, while 35 miles up the road they ran most of the summer.
For me, going to Sun Prairie on Sunday nights has been a part of life since I was a young boy back during the Compression. That was back before we had sunglasses and we just had to squint.
I finally got to be old enough to race there, and over the past 51 years we‘ve never planned birthday parties, visits, funerals, etc. on Sunday, as I wouldn‘t be able to make them. I raised my five kids going to the races every Sunday night, where they ate race track hamburgers, ran around the grandstands and rolled down the banks behind the grandstands with the other kids and, at times, even watched the races.
I have so many memories, both good and bad, of Angell Park. Without stepping foot into it this year, I feel like I lost something that I can never get back. Who knows what next year will bring, or if there will even be a next year for this great family race track, with all the politics and locals whining about the noise (even though they bought their homes long after the track had been there for 80 years). I am sure this wasn‘t an isolated case and that a lot of race fans around the country went through similar experiences, with their local track either being shut down or with limited, or no, spectators allowed.
2020 has changed a whole lot of our thinking and the way we do things. Unfortunately, racing fits into that category of having too many people in one place at one time and being too close to each other, and increases the risk of possibly contracting the virus. I, for one, do not have that problem, as Johnny Murdock, one of racing‘s premier drivers and fabricators, was kind enough to travel from his Hollywood, California home to come to Iola, Wisconsin this summer to build me a device that eliminates all the worry of social distancing.
Johnny designed and built a titanium distancing rod that mounts on the front, back, and each side of my hazmat suit, keeping me exactly six feet from breathing or touching any parts of the virus. This device, known as the Murdock Zero Tolerance Rod, has kept me safe all summer and makes it almost impossible for me to contract the disease. I appreciate his friendship and concern for my health and keeping the doors open on the Research & Development Center for the betterment of all racing.
Hopefully 2020 will come to a great end with a vaccination for the virus (although the Murdock Rod is really all the world needs) and we can get back to normal in 2021. It has been a struggle for most of the world, and I hope everyone can stay safe until we are done with this. For my part, I will continue to keep the Research & Development Center open, play a few rounds of Augusta golf, cry myself to sleep over the Sun Prairie lost season, and try to make it another year going around the planet of Uranus. For now, I have started negotiations with ABC about a possible TV show about 20/20 and looking for my bicycle in the basement of the Alamo. Stay safe guys. KO
